Living in the Shadows: What Pride Month Means to Families Like Mine
This Pride Month, I want to share something deeply personal—a story that isn’t always visible but is very real. It’s a story about love, fear, and the ongoing struggle for visibility faced by many LGBTQ+ families like mine.
Recently, my family and I travelled to Egypt. Before we left, my wife and I had a conversation with our children that no parent should ever have to have. We explained that, while we are a married couple, for our safety, we might need to say we were “just friends.”
Even on holiday, something as simple as holding hands, sharing a kiss, or saying “my wife” or “my partner” was not something we could do without hesitation or fear. We smiled and laughed like any family, but every affectionate gesture was measured, every glance cautious.
Our children noticed. They felt the tension, the unspoken rules. They asked heartbreaking questions: “Why can’t you say you’re married? Why would anyone care if we’re a family?”
These questions are a stark reminder that the world we want for our children—one where love is love—is still not a reality for so many.
I remember once holding an ex-partner’s hand in public when they whispered to me, “This is the first time I’ve ever held a girlfriends hand in public.”
For most people, that moment is invisible, unremarkable. For LGBTQ+ people, it can be a moment of courage, vulnerability, and fear all at once.
Now, I want to ask you—have you ever had to pause before saying “this is my partner”? Have you ever scanned your surroundings before reaching for a hand to hold? For many of us, this is an everyday reality. Imagine what it must be like to constantly second-guess something so simple and natural.
Consider these facts:
Hate crimes targeting LGBTQ+ people in England and Wales have more than doubled since 2016.
Nearly one in three LGBTQ+ employees in the UK hide their identity at work.
Transgender individuals face an average wait time of up to 5 years for NHS gender-affirming healthcare.
Over 64 countries still criminalise same-sex relationships, with punishments ranging from imprisonment to the death penalty.
LGBTQ+ youth experience significantly higher rates of mental health challenges, often linked to stigma and discrimination.
This isn’t just about a trip abroad. It’s a lived experience that resonates here in the UK and beyond. And yet, despite these stark realities, many organisations are quietly stepping back from their commitments to Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion.
Pride events cancelled.
Inclusion teams defunded.
Important conversations silenced under the guise of “neutrality.”
Let me be clear: silence is not neutrality. It is a choice. If your values vanish when things get tough, they were never truly values—they were just PR. Now is the time to stand firm. True inclusion demands courage, commitment, and action from all of us—especially from leaders so I call on those organisations that truly believe in inclusion to:
Keep your EDI work visible, funded, and active.
Amplify LGBTQ+ voices—not just in June, but every day.
Push back against the backlash.
Show up with courage.
Because Pride Month isn’t about rainbow logos or performative gestures. It’s about families like mine having the right to love openly and live without fear. It’s about the right to say, “This is my wife. My partner.”—and mean it without hesitation.
If you have the privilege of saying those words freely, I urge you to think deeply about what it means to have to hold back. Use that safety as fuel for genuine allyship.
This Pride, let’s commit to more than celebration—let’s commit to empathy, action, and unwavering support. Let's stand together to fight for a world where every family can live openly, proudly, and without fear.
Because our love is real, our stories matter, and our future depends on all of us being seen—and truly accepted.
By Catherine Treagus-Mullan
Chair of the Trustees for Proud 2 b Parents
