Carl’s Journey to His Forever Family

For LGBT+ Adoption & Fostering Week 2026, Craig shares his family’s journey, from the first photo of Carl to building their forever home full of love, hope, and everyday moments that matter.

After a long and emotional adoption process, we finally saw our first picture of Carl in February 2025. It was such a surreal moment — suddenly everything felt real. We were filled with excitement, but also overwhelmed with questions.

““Suddenly everything felt real.””

We asked for more information about him almost immediately. We never saw a picture of any other children, which felt significant. Some people struggle with the selection process, unsure of what feels right for them — but for us, it just seemed meant to be.

““For us, it just seemed meant to be.””

Carl had experienced severe neglect before moving to his foster family. He had global developmental delay and couldn’t crawl or walk at 14 months old. What really stood out, though, was how far he had come since being with his foster carers. He could run around, express what he wanted, and had clearly made incredible progress.

Reading through any child’s file is both upsetting and daunting. As a new adoptive parent, you naturally question what you can manage in terms of their history and what it may mean for their future. In Carl’s case, there was a family history of autism and uncertainty about whether his mother had consumed alcohol or drugs during pregnancy. Although these details were concerning, they didn’t stop us from wanting to move forward.

““You naturally question what you can manage.””

We were granted an observation session at Carl’s nursery. When the day finally came, it felt special. It was a warm spring day, and we watched him play and interact with staff and other children.

We left with huge smiles — something just felt right, and any doubts began to fade. He was shy around us, almost as if he sensed something. The room was busy and lively, but we could see his ability to concentrate, his love of food (he would rub his belly whenever food passed the door), and how affectionate he was with the nursery staff.

““Something just felt right.””

His picture hadn’t done him justice. He was bright, cheerful, and full of personality. I’m so glad we gave him a chance — you really can’t know a child until you meet them.

““You really can’t know a child until you meet them.””

The next couple of months focused on the transition from the foster carers to us. When they visited our home, it was obvious how much they loved him. The process was difficult for them, but they never let their emotions cloud what was best for Carl. Their dedication to his future was remarkable.

During the transition, we spent time in their home so he could get used to us. We took him to parks, a family BBQ, and birthday parties at the trampoline park. We were always made to feel welcome. It must have been hard for them — and it was hard for us too — wanting to do the right thing without overstepping.

Eventually, visits built up to full days. There were tears when getting into the car — heartbreaking for all of us — but they never lasted more than a couple of minutes.

Move-in day went just as planned, and he has been with us ever since. At the time of writing, it has been eight months. We’ve kept regular contact with his foster carers, and they still see him every four to six weeks.

At first, Carl gravitated more towards my husband, which was difficult at times, especially as I was the main caregiver. But we were told during training that this can happen, so I knew it wasn’t personal. Over time, he has shown that he loves us both equally. He even prefers each of us for different routines — which I think is his way of asserting his independence.

Carl turned three in December, so we were thrown straight into full toddler mode. I won’t pretend it’s always been easy — but I don’t think it is for any parent. He has a regular Friday playdate with a child very similar to him, even down to the speech delay, which reassures me that he’s developing at a normal pace for his age and circumstances.

We’ve made so many wonderful memories already — mini breaks to Blackpool and Ribby Hall, farm days out, Christmases and birthdays, and countless trips to soft play and playgrounds. I’ve taken thousands of photos and even made a photo book. I love showing him off whenever I can, and I honestly couldn’t be prouder.

““I honestly couldn’t be prouder.””

This journey has been like no other. Have there been moments where I’ve wanted to tear my hair out? Absolutely. But would I change any of it? Not a chance.