Top tips on coming out to your kids


  • Talk to your child about different families. Many  LGBT parents use this as a starting point to coming out.

  • Make sure you are confident and positive when you tell them and that you do so in a relaxed and calm atmosphere. The less you make of it, the less they will think it is something to be upset about

  • Tell your child in a private area where the conversation can’t be overheard

  • Make sure you tell your child, rather than letting them find out from someone else

  • If possible, try to include your child’s other parent(s) in the discussion. Your child will be reassured if he or she can see that all parents are supportive

  • Stress that your relationship with your child will not change in the light of you coming out. Make sure they know that you love them and that you are just the same as you were before

  • If you are considering separating or divorcing from your partner, don’t tell your child both pieces of news at the same time. It may overwhelm them.

  • Talk to your child in age-appropriate language. Children understand love and affection. (our book list can help)

  • Make sure they understand what you are comfortable with them telling people at school and in the playground. Explain that there are lots of different types of families but respect your child’s wishes on this topic. If they don’t want to tell their classmates or friends, that’s okay

  • Your child will have to go through a stage of coming out too. This process is up to them , let them led the way This does not mean they are not supporting you , but it takes people different amounts of time to open up
  • Listen to your child and try to understand what their concerns are, if they raise any

  • Make sure your child knows that you are happy to talk to them about this topic. Different children take different amounts of time to come to terms with change, and so it’s important for them to know that there is no pressure for them to respond in a particular way. Also, try to keep the conversation open

  • Talk with them about sexual orientation in general. Many LGBT parents use this as a starting point for coming out to their children

  • Try to provide opportunities for your child to talk to other people with LGBT parents. This could be through LGBT family networking groups such as Proud 2 b Parents or other groups. Please contact us for more information about groups or services in your area.